The hippie school runs on the credo of Pay More, Go Less, so my kids were finished weeks ago while other kids go until the end of June. During the school year, those few hours my daughter was either at nursery school or home napping while my son toiled away in grade two were precious to me. It was my time to work, clean, exercise, grocery shop, shower and pee alone. Alas, that time has now passed.

I feel like a vacation veteran by the time other moms in my ‘hood are left quaking in their minivans at the thought of spending roughly 780 unscheduled hours with their kids, many of whom will declare boredom twenty minutes after school lets out.

In the spirit of momidarity, I have compiled some handy tips to make it through the summer without killing your kids (for the first few weeks, anyway):

Camps
I’ve staggered a few week-long day camps over the summer, mostly for my son because he is more dangerous when he’s bored. When he starts getting on my nerves, I threaten to send him to a different kind of camp (i.e. manners camp, cleaning camp and sitting-in-his-teacher’s-backyard-doing-math camp).

That laundry ain’t gonna fold itself, son.

Weeding Gardening Projects
I am the grim reaper of gardening and when you combine my ebony thumb with an allergy to nature, the result is a backyard that resembles a landfill.

Like something you’d come across in a Stephen King novel.

We have a professional landscaper dude coming in July to make things attractive and bomb-proof (will he be planting rubber shrubs?) but until that time, when my kids tell me they’re bored, I hand them a trowel, some gloves and tell them to go for it.

Exactly two of these green things are supposed to be here.

Toy Time
I always have a few gifts hidden away (aka: things I bought for Christmas in August and promptly forgot about) and they can come in very handy during rainy summer days. A word of caution: don’t blow your wad by giving the toy too soon; and be sure it isn’t something that requires adult supervision or assembly.

This thing took 2 hours to build and I had 18 leftover parts.

Bribes
I want my kids to enjoy a restful summer, but I also don’t want their brains to atrophy completely. To this end, my son and I have reached an agreement: every page he reads to me earns him five minutes of TV watching. At the rate he’s going, Anna Karenina will be done by early August.

Any tips you have to keep me sane until my kids’ friends join them on vacation? Please?