Two Realsies and a Whopper
Published May 9, 2012 | Do you ever wonder what your kids really think of you? Are you dying to know their latest little white lie? If so, then I have the perfect game for you.
The rules are simple: state two true things about yourself (realsies) and one falsehood (whopper). The other person must discern the whopper from the realsies.
My eight-year-old son uses this game as an opportunity to confess his sins:
Him: “Ready, mommy?”
Me: “Yep.”
Him: “Number one: I once ate three large pizzas at once.”
Note: He has never eaten 3 large pizzas at once.
Him: “Number two: I was a rodeo cowboy.”
Note: He has never been to a rodeo.
Him: “Number three:”—deep breath—”I needed some of your goopy make-up to make experiments in the garage and spilled it all over the place.”
That little bugger.
My four-year-old daughter’s approach is more straightforward:
Her: “Number one: I was a mermaid. Second: I was a princess. Last: I was a princess who can turn into a mermaid.”
Not only has this game been useful in determining my kids’ latest obsessions (and transgressions), there’s been an added benefit of knowing what they really think of their mommy:
Me: “Number one: When I was a kid, we had 2 hamsters, 2 cats, 2 dogs, some fish and a lizard in our house. Number two: Daddy and I got married barefoot on the beach. Number three: I rode a rollercoaster naked.”
My son: “The animal one is the whopper. Definitely.”
My daughter: “Married is a whopper.”
Me: “You guys seriously think I would go on a rollercoaster naked?”
My son: “It’s a lot of animals for one house, mommy.”
My daughter: “You’re not married, are you?!?”
So. To recap: I’ll spend this Mother’s Day warmed by the thought that my kids think I’m a pervert.*
C’mon, spill it—what are your two realsies and a whopper?
*Note: They’re right of course, but not for the reasons they suspect.
Don't get me started on how unsanitary that seat would be...
7 Responses to Two Realsies and a Whopper
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Blog Design Goddess
1. I like Whoppers [the candies].
2. My friend and I once asked a kid in a Burger King if we could have his Whopper [the sandwich, you perv].
3. I often watched Judge Wopner on The People’s Court.
1. My dad was born and raised in Mexico
2. I took six years of Spanish and still cannot speak Spanish.
3. I did so many tequila shots in Tijunana one night, I lost my purse.
Oh crap. Those are all true.
Yo estoy muy estupido. Probablemente.
Oh, I just love that your kids think you rode a roller coaster naked. They’re not even going to want to sit next to you the next time you go to an amusement park. Hahahaha!
1. When we got married, my nervous spouse asked me to “take this ring as a sign of my love and fertility.”
2. I got stuck in the hospital elevator while I was in labor. (Obviously, the vow worked!)
3. I know of someone who once rode a roller coaster naked.
Loved this post.
1. I write erotic books and won’t tell my mother who I am.
2. I tried to pet a rattlesnake once.
3. I sold 4 tons of rocks — picked up by hand one by one — on eBay.
Ohhh – this is a GOOD one! I totally see you writing erotica and I don’t even know you, and selling rocks on eBay sounds like a genius move. So. Rattlesnake.
I love this one….
1. I swam naked with 10 women in a river in BC
2. I did karaoke with David Spade
3. I ate kangaroo
I can totally see you doing all of these things. Why don’t we ever go out drinking????