I’ve done some interesting things in my life—bungy jumping in the rain forest and kissing Tom Selleck (not at the same time) come to mind. However, my recent revelations concerning coffee made me realize a couple of things: I’ve missed the boat on a number of experiences that others might take for granted; and, most reassuring to me, there are a lot of you out there who are equally oblivious.
Here are some of my greatest misses:
I’ve never seen one of this dude’s films. It’s not that I don’t want to see Platoon or Natural Born Killers. And I have nothing against Michael Douglas in his suspender-snapping prime. There is no plausible explanation for my Oliver Stone aversion, but now that I’m aware of it, I have a weird compulsion to keep my streak alive.
Just because I live in Canada doesn’t mean I’m stuck in an igloo of ignorance—I know who this little dude is, although I must admit I spent a year thinking his last name was Beaver, which is why I even remembered him at all. (Fun fact: I sported a similar hairdo in 1977). Despite being able to pick him out of a line-up, I couldn’t name or recognize one of his songs if my margarita depended on it. As a woman of a certain age, some might say that’s a healthy thing.
I love me some Real Housewives of Wherever and Project Runway makes me positively giddy, so it’s not like I’m a reality television novice. Based on my questionable taste, I should be swooning over the reality road kill that is Jersey Shore. And yet…I just can’t. It’s too repulsive, even for me.
The babes of the blogosphere might not believe me on this one, but I swear on my Spanx that it’s true: I have never read Dooce. I know it’s a lady who started blogging and the next thing you know she’s a bagazillionaire. Is Dooce her first name or last? Is she funny? She better be hilarious, because I read chicks like this, this, this and this on a regular basis and they should be getting p.a.i.d. for their funny.
So tell me: are we fighting?